I want it so bad I can taste it. I’m not sure exactly what getting a book published will taste like, but my dreams of that day are as sweet as chocolate, so I’m guessing something like a Milky Way.
The road there has not been rich, creamy, and smooth. It’s actually been more like a pile of nasty ‘shrooms covered in buttermilk, or like that stubborn bottle of ketchup that just won’t deliver
(despite the promise of the best things coming to those who wait.)
I have a collection of rejection letters, a sent box with too may emails which never received a reply, and a never-ending task list to check off, as I do the daunting amount of work it apparently takes to get that contract. No, those ingredients don’t taste like any candy bar I’ve ever enjoyed.
I’ve imagined the phone call, the email, the letter, the news, when a publisher actually says “yes!” in myriad variations. They all include fairly loud, joyous noises from me, a bit of dancing for my feet, and a Cheshire Cat expression on my face.
While some of this my be accurate, based on past experience with my imaginings of other events, I am pretty sure it will turn out to be almost nothing like I envision.
I don’t think that’s the important thing though. The aspect to focus on is for my dreaming not to become my every thing. A desire so strong can easily consume us, dominate our thinking, overtake our minds, consume our time, our passion, until we are left lusting after something our hearts want so much there is no room left for anything else. Wanting this above all, we are not open to God’s plan, his timing, or his will. We become blind to all other things. We can miss out on other, maybe even better opportunities God has for us. It can become a lust, that, left unquenched and unchecked, makes us impossible to please, forever feeling unsatisfied, and completely off track from the path God would have us walk.
Letting lust lead us will take us nowhere good.
Instead, we can guard our hearts and minds as we pursue our passions. If it’s a healthy desire, like I believe my own to publish is, we can surrender it to God, remaining in frequent (maybe nearly constant?) prayer about it.
Part of that prayer will need to be: “Lord, if this is what you would have for me, help it happen. If you have other plans for me, help me accept that and praise you wherever this path leads. Satisfy me with your unfailing love. Help me to be fulfilled in you, even as I pursue the passions I believe you have laid on my heart.”
As I pray this and similar prayers, I sincerely hope to accept whatever God has for me on this writer’s path. He is already teaching me on this journey, and using it to help me grow. I suppose it’s possible that this journey is the destination, and not a book contract (or two, or three, or…) Right now, I hope that the path includes seeing my books on the shelves at Barnes and Noble, the Christian Bookstore, and the local library. That would be amazingly awesome! My mouth is watering just typing about it. Where’s the danger? – in letting that drooling get out of control, until I’m a slobbering mess, lost in the deadly sin of writer’s lust.
Up next – Deadly Sin #5 – PRIDE – if I’m humble enough to write it.