If I had known…

Missing my dad today, on what would have been his 70th birthday.

I wrote the following not long after he went to heaven in 2010. I later included it in my book, Random Thoughts.

If I had known it was our last meal together
I would have let you pick what we ate
If I had known it was our last weekend together
I would have made it more memorable
If I had known it was our last conversation
I would have said something more meaningful
If I had known you only had time for one more song
I would have made sure to play your favorite
If I had known this was the last room you would see
I would have made it look nicer
If I had known it was the last chance I had to tell you what you meant
I would have made sure to tell you all the great things you did
If I had known it was my last chance to learn from you
I would have asked you to teach me more
If I had known it was the last time I would hear your voice
I would have asked you to tell me more
If I had known it was our last holiday
I would have made it more special
If I had known it was the last time I could pray for you
I would have prayed longer
If I had known I would not get to see you smile again
I would have tried harder to make you happy
If I had known I wouldn’t get to hear you laugh again
I would have asked you to tell just one more joke
If I had known it was your last birthday
I would have gotten you a better gift
If I had known how much you were suffering
I would have been more sympathetic
If I had known it was our last hug
I would have held on longer
If I had known it was the last chance to get to know you
I would have asked more questions
If I had known how much I would miss you
I would have treasured each moment more

In memory of Edward Lee Jones 11/14/43-5/19/10