Overthinking

Being an A student has its advantages. School was never that difficult. A college degree was attainable. I can usually learn new things fairly easily.

The disadvantage is the frustration when something isn’t easy to grasp. My intellect throws accusations at me. “What’s wrong?” “I should be smart enough to get this!” “Why can’t I understand?”

This arrogant path has led me to some dark alleys and dead ends spiritually. My pride in intelligence has been a stumbling block when I have attempted to rely on my own ability to comprehend the things of God. This list has included such simple matters as why God made everything in the universe work the way it does, including why He made the plan for our salvation that He did, what eternity will be like, how exactly the Trinity works, what things may we have misinterpreted and been doing wrong for centuries – and my brain spins on…

Surely, if I study more, ponder more deeply, and make use of my entire mental capacity, I can get it. If I can just get the right synapses to fire, it will all fall into place.

What arrogance!

Trying to comprehend the infinite with a finite mind. How frustrating. It’s beyond difficult. It’s impossible. It wasn’t even meant to be:

• Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Romans 11:33
• As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. Ecclesiastes 11:5
• How great is God – beyond our understanding! Job 36:26
• God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. Job 37:5
• A man’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way? Proverbs 20:24

God does reveal many things to us through His Word and His Spirit. He can increase our faith to help us accept those things which we cannot see. He can help us know Him and His will for us.

• By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. Hebrews 11:3
• But it is the spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding. Job 32:8
• We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true – even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. 1 John 5:20

God has also given me what cognitive abilities I have, and can use those to help me understand Him and His ways.

• I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path. Psalm 119:104
• The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple. Psalm 119:130

My part:

• Accept that I cannot do this in my own strength
• Accept that not all things are mine to know

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6